Hello, dear reader
Today I want to share with you how my book Under the Same Vast Sky came to be. I grow with every book I write, but I feel like this one truly allowed me to find my own voice.
Similar to my other book, Stories of Embers and Oblivion this was also meant to be a chapter in another book I was writing. Grief has always been a companion of mine whether I like it or not. I know grief well. Having a chapter in one of my books dedicated to it felt like right.
But with my writing, I also go where my inspiration takes me. And so, I just kept writing about grief.
The chapter in the other project grew and grew and I made the decision to ditch the chapter and start a whole new book instead.
The skeleton of the book was simple. Illuminate all the sides of grief and make sure my reader feels less alone with their own grief.
Writing this book was hard. I tried to dig deep and get as raw with my most painful memories.
Originally, I had a different concept and title for this book. I wanted to call it Lessons I Learned From You and make every stage of grief a lesson.
I soon realized this felt to chained for me. I needed something more creative. For the longest time this project was just called Grief Book.
Every chapter has its own story, is like a small book within itself. Losing My Centre of Gravity is just that, the first wave of grief. Flowing into Waves of Grief and Sadness. Those titles come from pieces within the chapter.
The original title of the book still felt important to me, which is why I called a chapter this way.
If you've read any of my books you know I always weave in some hope. Even when it comes to grief. The turning point of this book is Colouring Outside The Lines, named after one of my favorites two-page pieces.
With Under the Same Vast Sky I implemented more prose for the first time ever. Coming from the tumblr/Instagram side of poetry, longer pieces are rarely getting much attention. I love a good four-line poem. Yet not all feelings can be translated to the reader this way.
I really enjoyed playing around with the visual style of Under the Same Vast Sky.
Editing it over and over making sure every poem was in it's perfect spot inside the book, made me realize something was missing.
I had already planned to send the manuscript to my editor when I had the idea for the last chapter. Based on a longer poem I wrote, about meeting someone at the stars. The final chapter, I Will Meet You at the Stars was born.
I can't imagine the book without some of the poems form this chapter now. It was meant to be.
For the cover, I went back to the same artist who has done my previous cover. I wanted muted tones and because of the title, I wanted a cloudy sky to be visible. Water is an element I have always been very connected with and felt like it was big enough to hold the weight of grief. Knowing what poem I wanted to put on the back cover, I told my artist to incorporate waves. And once again, she created magic. I think the cover gives the reader an idea of what's to come and captures the mood of the book perfectly.
Despite always striving for perfection with my books, years after realizing them into the world I of course have grown as a writer and would maybe change a few things. But this book will have a special place in my heart forever. It gave me my voice. The tears I have cried writing this book have healed more than anything else I have tried to overcome my grief. And it taught me, there is no overcoming grief. There is only learning to live with it.
Maybe Under the Same Vast Sky was born from a selfish place of needing pages to hold what's too heavy for my heart. But in the end, all I want is for this book to make someone else feel less alone.
If you are missing someone who is more than a distance away, I want you to remember this: Grief is love with nowhere to go. You hurt so much because you've loved. And no one can take that love truly away from you. Not even grief itself.
With Love,
Ella